The Advanced Kablurglenurgle
by mr.soraguy
Summary: what happens when the war ends? nonstop insanity, including lost headphones, giant plasma guns, and you guessed it, no not really, the KABLURGLENURGLE!


My first humor fan fic! Yay me! I mean US if you count the evil bunny behind me. Don't know how he got there. Must be a plothole. Well, read on if you want to enjoy the last moments of your life! Mwahahahahaha! Get the hell out of here demon rabbit! You can't get rid of me! I'm part of your butcheeks! Dammit. This much randomness now, can't wait till the story starts. Wippee!

Alright, I don't own Advance Wars, but me and demon/hare/ass/ thing both have Andy's wrench. And no, you cant look at it! (

**Of Headphones, Kablurglenurgles, and Giant Sandwhiches**

………………………………………………………

Attention unknown victims! You are entering a danger zone where you could die psychologically by reading a fan fic made by someone with the hots for all male COs!

How the hell did you get back in here! I thought I got rid of you in therapy!

_No, that was Freddy Cougar trying to melt your asophagus. This is Charlie, the dormant part of your brain, which is every part, Roger._

My name isn't Roger! It's CO Mar-

_KA-BOOM! BLAM! AND ALL THAT OTHER EXPLODING NOISE!_

"What the kablurglenurgle was that?"

_What is the kablur- thingy Roger?_

"I told you, it's CO Markus!"

MORE CRAPPY BLAM! "Ah, what's the point?" fade out 

Will we ever know who Markus Explosion is? Why is there an explosion every time we say his name? What is the kablurgenurgle? Why the hell do you care? Tune in and maybe, probably not, find the answers! Now lets go to the Cos finally!

At the Orange Star HQ, something had gone amiss. Jake had lost his HEADPHONES! OH the horror! Oh the trasgedy! Oh the homicidal rage sweeping throughout the HQ, killing all the soldiers and workers to find the missing headphones!

Nell, Max, Andy, Rachel, and Sami were hiding in a giant sandwich, formulating a plan to- "Wait a minute, a sandwhich?" yelled Nell. "Best I could find, Jake ate most of the rest of the building, and so we went into the experimental sandwhich weapon," said I, the great author.

"Where did you come from?" said the confused Max. Who am I kidding? Max is always confused! "Hey!" said dumbass Max. "I will crush mean person!"

"Will you shut up? Jake might hear us!" yelled naggy Rachel "If he finds us, he might think that we have his retarded headphones and he'll munch on us fo' sho!" ending with a dumb gangsta line. Then all of a sudden, a CRUNCH could be heard.

"Aack! He got me! If Jake had Superglue, he could have glued his headphones on and not have lost them, leading to this conclusion. Learn from his mistakes and buy Superglue today! Sale price at 9999.99$. Does not include S+H. Can cause nausea, headaches, diarrhea, sexual underdevelopment, internal explosion, and Markus Kaboom! To attack you with raisins, torpedoes, toilet bowels, and Michael Kaboo- wait, Michael? Sorry about that."

"That was very random" said the GoomyBoomy. Who are you? "You're saying that too much." Then the GoomyBoomy turned into a giant boulder, rolled down a hill that came out of nowhere, and rolled into the center of the Earth.

Was that the devil? "I don't know author." Said Markus 'Kaboom! "Stop exploding! Why does this happen to me!" "It's the will of the author" said Hawke out of nowhere.

"Can we go back to the crunch sound?" asked Nell. Sure, why not?

After the promotional speech that led to the previous events, they realized it wasn't Jake who made the crunch sound.

"It wasn't Jake who made the crunch sound!" said Sami. Thanks for plagiruising me Sami! No more sleeping in the bed with Eagle!

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Anyway, whil;e she was crying in fetal position, the other Cos looked for the source of the crunch.

"Where is the source of the crunch sound?' asked Rachel. Another plagiruiser, eh? No more sleeping with Jake! "I don't sleep with him normally."

Well, then I'l make you sleep with Adder!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm not sure if he's a guy!" While she was also crying in fetal position, the others found the source.

"Stop eating the sandwhich Andy! It's our hiding spot from Jake!"

"I can't help it! I haven't had a sandwhich since…"

"Cool, a flashback!" said Markus from a plothole "Yes! No explos- Kaboom!"

"..damn. I think most of Orange Star HQ is destroyed from the explosions."

"Yes, I have come up with an ingenious plan to destroy Orange Star!" said Sturm wearing a tutu dancing Swan Lake.

_Wait a minute your dead_! Said Charlie.

"Took you long enough to get back in the story!" yelled Sturm after achieving position 4.

_Not my fault Mar- HE has a dumb brain._

"Hey, that's not nice!" Mar-HE said. _He even argues with himself !_

"How pathetic! Almost as pathetic as me doing ballet!…Wait a minute…."

Anyway, back to the flashback before Sturm realizes something and kills me for making him do balle- "METEOR!" Back to the flashback!

_Andy returns from his campaign victorius. "Lets have a paaarty!" _

"_I'll bring some sandwhiches" said Sturm who had finished his evil plan planning and did a third ballet routine._

Meanwhile, at Black Hole headquarters, Lash was having fun, and by fun I mean shooting her own soldiers with plasma guns and throwing gnomes.

"Hey, Lash, I had a strange feeling to come to the door of the HQ to wait for someone."

"Whatever loooooser, I want to shooooooot more ssssssssoldiers.Teeheeeeeeee."

"Help us Adderr! She's psychotic!" said the hunted soldiers. "Do I look like I care?"

Its because I made you to not to care.

"Jelly boogers!" yelled Lash and fell down the stairs to nowhere.

"Random." Said the guy who name started with M and ended with arkus. "Anyway, Rachel come here."

"Who's there? Im blindfolded and my head hurts!"

"Oh, you're at Black Hole HQ, and I cut your ear off and pistolwhipped ya a couple of times because I was bored. I done the deed author."

Good, now Adder, sleep with Rachel while she is still blindfolded.

"Sure thing!" as a bed appeared out of nowhere and they slept in it.

Markus Kaboom! Went back to Green Earth to give Drake a bomb like in a cartoon.

Once Rachel had recovered from the brutal torture of sleeping with Adder, she realized she was in hell. "Took you long enough" said GoomyBoomy who was the devil and turned into a vampire and sucked his owm blood out until he disappeared.

The End until the next installment when we update on the Jake situation.

**That was the first chapter. Read, review, and wait untilk the next chapter. If this was'nt funny, please tell me how to improve, because this was my first humor fan fic.**


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